Wednesday, May 20, 2009

all u single ladies...IF he liked it

I REALLY hate dating. I mean not just the meeting new people (I low key hate that too) but the redundancy of it all. The same movies; the same restuarants; telling the same stories & jokes; laughing the same ol' laugh...with a different face, & a different name. But I'd be lying if I said that I genuinely enjoyed being alone ALL THE DAMN TIME. I strongly believe that human beings were built for companionship; for friendships, fellowships...for relationships. No man should have to walk to the ends of this earth for all of his years, ALONE.

Being an only child, I've always been a loner naturally. Independent & self-sufficient from an early age but, my grandmother made sure I understood that "everybody needs somebody, SOME of the time..." however my increasing collection of cocodorm & 1 liter jugs of silicone lube have only aided in the ease of going without the touch of another man's hand for extended periods of time.

& honestly it's not just the IDEA of dating that sickens me, it's the agendas & the trust issues, & TRUST...they all have one:

-I'm only lookin for a NSA hookup
-At this point in my life, I'm really just too busy for a relationship
-My last boyfriend just hurt me so bad, & now I have to be careful with my heart

NOW, even the most close-minded, bitter, jaded queen could argue in defense of these busy, heartbroken men just being unable to commit at this point in their lives...until you find out that since only fucking the shit outta YOU just weeks ago, that man is now in a serious, long-term, committed relationship...with ANOTHER muthafucka.

The true tea...he just wasn't that into you. & I mean, can you blame him? OF COURSE but, how can you seriously be angered that YOU weren't his "type?" I mean the fact that you were at least good enough to fuck (ya'll did fuck right?) should say a lot so, why even be upset? Because he didn't stay the night? YOU DAMN MUTHAFUCKIN RIGHT!!! Ciara got us all brain-washed...everybody "want the TITLE[1]." & 10 times outta 10, even the most content bachelor will throw in his playa card for that ONE hot piece: the one "who can suck his dick AND make biscuits from scratch[2]." But honey that leaves only you, your microwave cooking, & your dirty, numb ass pussy to blame for not being THAT girl.

Get up on yo gangsta...your next date might just put this ring on it.

REFERENCES
1. "The Title" (Ciara) - Goodies; 2004
2. Bad Mouf Bessie (Sheryl Underwood) - I Got The Hook Up; 1998