give NO life

As we sat in the booth at Cheddar's & I sipped my THIRD texas frozen strawberry margarita bowl (with SUGAR around the rim of the glass) me & my BFF Dee stumbled onto the topic of kids:

Why they're a nice idea
Why we don't NEED them
Why I WOULD help a friend terminate a pregnancy
& why he is so ANTI-abortion

His main argument being, "they had no business layin up & makin the baby...our mother's didn't get rid of us...i can understand rape victims, they had no choice...every human being conceived, deserves a chance..."

I am 24 going on 25, "& I still look good[1]," & I spent AT LEAST 10 YEARS of my young adulthood resenting my father. I blamed him for everything I thought was wrong with me: my femininity because he wasn't around to masculinate me; my homosexuality because he was a former bisexual, so he must have passed me the gay gene..."I cursed the day he was born[2]!"

My mother, I couldn't STAND for close to 15 years: for conceiving me at the age of 14 & being too spoiled & immature to woMAN up; for leaving the burden of rearing me to my grandmother...for not being able to accept me coming out of the closet at the age of 13.

It took close to 20 years of life, just to begin to accept my fucked up ass issues (regardless of my parents') as MY fucked up issues. But it only took me to the FIRST quarter to get in the game...do you have any idea how many muthafuckas don't get off the bench until halftime? How many human beings are SO FUCKED UP in the head because they're parents & grandparents were REALLY FUCKED UP in the head & they don't even begin to UNDERSTAND, until their life is half over? Not even counting the ones who die STILL not realizing the damn point...

Now I'm not knockin Dee for his opinion & he wasn't knockin me for mine. But everytime I stop & look around to analyze & process headline news, sometimes it seems like just the thought of bringing kids into this world...they never even HAVE a chance.

REFERENCES

Savannah(Whitney Houston)-Waiting to Exhale; 1995
Charlotte(Kristin Davis)-Sex in the City - The Movie; 2008

but being "gay" IS a choice...freedom, part II: the truth about circumstances

Now wait a minute muthafuckas:

You CAN'T help what you like.
You CAN'T help who you love.
& you DEFINITELY can't help what gets your dick hard (or your pussy wet, for my full bottom boys).

But, you CAN help how you identify.

Case in point, I used to mess with this dude name "Reynaldo." & Reynaldo was clearly a black, african-american, just as myself. Now, my ENTIRE lineage & ancestry may be a bit vague, but, I know what I identify as culturally & ethnically just based on my immediate family. Looking at Reynaldo's immediate family, I could see no cultural or ethnic differences that would lead me to believe he was anything other than a black, african-american, like myself. Yet, on his BGC, A4A, & Men4Now he made it a point for anyone who clicked on his profile to know that he was "a mixed male black mexican & indian but look ALL BLACK..." & yes, these are his exact words.

Now, I ain't tryin to hate on Senor Reynaldo Blackfoot but, I just don't think you can pick & choose your racial identity like this...I mean, has anybody noticed the # of non-spanish speaking "Blatinos" on BGC? Senorita PLEASE! Not when the closest you came to latin cuisine growing up was either Taco Bueno or Beef Taco Hamburger Helper.

But I digress.

Taking the first step out of the closet to identify as Gay (or Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, etc.) is in fact, a choice. It's more mental than physical or circumstantial because if you are not mentally in a place to handle such a POWVERFUL (does anybody else's grandmama pronounce her "w's" like "v's?") term being applied to describe yourself, it'll only lead to shame & guilt which is going to lead to risky behavior patterns, lies, & other foolish & avoidable choices. But without choosing a title then, what are you? Maybe a man who is attracted to both sexes...a man attracted to the same sex...a man who feels he is a woman trapped in a man's body...a man who isn't even having sex (God forbid). All I know is that the question of sexual orientation is not typically on a job, mortgage, or college application. But whatever the label, whenever YOU choose to identify, it should be on your own terms for the sake of your own sanity. No one should be able to take that power away from you when deciding how you should "live ya life, (eh ay eh ay eh ay) [1]."

Truth be told, "if tomorrow is judgement day; and I'm standin' on the front line; and the Lord ask me what I did with my life...[2]" I will say I loved my neighbors. I will say I embraced all mankind & treated others as I wanted to be treated. Hell, I'll even say I honored my mother & occasionally my father. But I can't say my gayness will be apart of my account. & certainly not because I view it as a "sin;" I honestly don't. But because I simply have so many other points to prove. My gayness (like my blackness, my citizenship, & my manhood) is firm enough to not be challenged...so there's really no need for defense.

Prosecution rests.

REFERENCES

1. "Live Your Life" (T.I. featuring Rihanna) - Paper Trail; 2008

2. "My Love is Your Love" (Whitney Houston) - My Love is Your Love; 1998

*SIDEBAR*

This is nothing more than a play on words. An exercise to show that views on any situation, or idea may change just by the verbage of the speech. & that human & spiritual laws, like the ones enforced by government are FREE for interpretation. This is how the validity of a point is determined by a judge or a jury of one's peers...it's all in the delivery