Now, from the moment I laid eyes on Reggie's profile on BGC I knew I would like him. 5'10, kinda chubby, with a kool-aid smile; he was my kinda guy! His "position" field was blank (as was his weight), which wasn't an issue. & even though his status which was a diss to his ex & the new guy, woulda probably sent anybody with SOME sense in the opposite direction, it intrigued me (this is a hint as to how much sense Q has). So I of course sent him a message & after some brief small talk we exchanged numbers & I was headed to his crib.
He stayed close, like 5 minutes away (I didn't even have to get on the freeway). I arrived to a very familiar apartment complex (Bruce used to live here) & I quickly found his place with no help. When he opened the door I was...pleased. He actually looked LIKE his pics & the apartment was LAID: I'm talking FULLY furnished (with nice shit), which is a rarity for the punks our age (he's 24). So I was impressed, to say the least.
We sat on the sofa & talked, REALLY TALKED, for hours. He was funny, country, & came off very genuine. After a few beers & squares we were both relaxed enough to venture off into more PERSONAL conversation. "So you top or bottom?" he asked. "Oh, you ain read my profile?" I snapped. "Nah man, dat don't be important when you first tryna get to know somebody." COOKED ME, I couldn't even argue with that...not without sounding like a sex-crazed freak. The truth (& by that I mean MY truth) is that I don't go online looking for friends or homeboys. I'm all stocked up with people to drink, smoke, & big kick it with. I'm online looking for a date; a fuck-buddy; or even just a jump-off. But to Reggie's last statement I simply replied, "yea you right, you need to get to know a person before worryin abou if ya'll gon be just friends or something more." MM-HMM! He replied, "exactly." So without the slightest bit of hesitation I boldly declared, "I'm a top." He reached out his hand to shake mine & greeted me, "hello FRIEND." WTF? & ya'll know I was bout ready to go on that note. But little did I know, the night was only beginning.
We talked more, laughing & feeling a lot more at ease since that chunk of ice had been broken. We had almost demolished his case of beer & out of nowhere he asked, "lemme see it." I asked, surprised, "let you see wha?" He smiled, "your piece." I was a little tipsy & feelin real good so I stood up & pulled it out. He grabbed it & began to blow me. The boy had a nice little head game on him & I wondered to myself where this was going...he then stopped abruptly, stood up, took my shirt off, pulled down my panties & bent me over. I thought to myself, "WTF?" He proceeded to eat me. Now, me being the STRICT top that I am, I've never really gotten into ANYTHING (tongues, fingers, penises, bottles, gerbils, vacum cleaner hoses, etc) being inserted into my shit-hole. But baby, that boy was COLD-BLOODED, & I was moanin like a lil BITCH. I dropped to my knees as they had begun to get weak & he followed me with his face still inbetween my cakes. He rolled me onto my back (dat muthafucka was kinda STRONG) & continued, alternating between eating me & sucking my dick...I was in complete ecstasy. He finally started to take off some of his clothing & then he lay in between my thighs & began to kiss me. I then realized that he was attempting to stick a finger in my butt & that's when I let out a small scream. He laughed, resumed kissing me & trying to finger me. & it was then that I noticed this big muthafucka had both my wrists over my head with one hand & had my body pinned underneath the weight of his...I began to get REALLY nervous.
He withdrew the finger, as he had only been able to get in almost to the knuckle. I sighed relief as he continued kissing me. Now as he had my wrists by both of his hands, still laying in between my thighs, he began to press against my hole with his piece. My eyes got big & I started breathing erratically. I began to wriggle & squirm until I got loose of his tight grip. I rolled over onto my knees & tried to crawl away but then he grabbed me by my waist & buried his face into my ass again. This nigga was CLEARLY no rookie. He then snatched me up (I'm tellin ya'll, this big nigga was STRONG) & walked me into the bedroom. He pushed me onto his bed & started giving me head, still fingering me. Between his hot mouth & his finger in my rectum I couldn't take no more...I came everywhere, some even went in his mouth. I lay there in the middle of his big bed basking. I finally pulled myself up & into the bathroom to clean up.
"WHOOOO!" I thought to myself as I looked into the mirror trying to catch the cum running dowm my piece & stomach with the warm towel. I felt my energy & strength begin to return to my just lifeless body. That boy was good, & a true top to even attempt climbing my back. When I re-entered his bedroom he was laying on his back on his cell phone. As I pulled on my t-shirt I realized that he hadn't even bust one. He hung up the phone as he stood up & I grabbed him by the shoulder & kissed him. I dropped down to my knees, opened my mouth wide & inhaled. I was tasting more pubic hair than I was flesh & I thought to myself, "shiiit I probably coulda took dis lil thang," (the piece had to be like only 4 or 5 inches). I pulled my t-shirt just over my head, grabbed his hips & let him fuck my face. I swear, I didn't even gag, his dick was so petite. His breathing got louder, his thrusts sped up & he whispered, "i'm finsta cum." We both threw our heads back, I grabbed his piece & jerked until he shot all over my chest. "Damn, I gotta go clean up again," I thought. As we went into the bathroom together I finally got a good look at his body in the light & thought, "he needs to update his damn profile."
As I drove home I could only reflect on Reggie's profile...it was about as clear as concrete, & I'm not only speaking of his role in the bedroom. Though his pics were true, even his height stated 5'10 & he was shorter than me (I'm barely 5'8). & I won't blame him for this I mean, maybe he REALLY doesn't know his height. But if he's just scared that saying he's 5'6 will turn off potential suitors then, he should know there's NO BIGGER turn-off when it comes to online dating than being MIS-LED. Because honey, those white lies, fibs, & half truths only become all out deceit & perjury (ask Lil' Kim bout it). & though you may "fake your way to the TOP, round & round " dem other bitches...PLEEZBALEEV, it's gon take a BAD ASS (not even Boosie) to TOP this one.
1. "Fake Your Way To The Top" (Eddie Murphy as Jimmy Early) - Dreamgirls Soundtrack; 2006