damn...

Since I made the move to Texas, almost two years ago, I've had my share of the different types of men Dallas had to offer. Very few remain constant in my life...very few remain. But there has been ONE in particular who stood out from the pack. You may remember mention of his name from this post. But let me just start from the beginning...

I had been working at that call center for only a short while but I was LOVIN IT! Having left the minimum wage of north Louisiana ($5.80/hour) the previous year, to now actually be able to pay all my own bills without help from my grandma & still without having a degree? Honey I was good...but I still felt empty. The apartment was fully furnished. I wasn't in any debt (besides student loans). "I could go where I wanted, do what I wanna do[1]." & I was surrounded by good friends. BUT me being human, I still wasn't satisfied. I laid alone every night & had began to long for a companion. Though I still had ties with my ex (we were still fucking), I wanted something more; something new.

It began as a typical Thursday & I was headed to work. Now the floor I worked on had been buzzin because of a new training class that week but I ain't friendly, so I had no intention of meeting or greeting with anybody...& then I saw him: 5'10, about 185 lbs, low-cut, toffee brown, & VERY well dressed...o yea, I had to get him. & after one long look into his eyes, I knew enough to know but, there was something off about him...

We continued our friendly glances over the course of a couple weeks & even the occasional head nods & "what's up man." He served on the daily for work, butch queen DOWN: blazers, jeans tucked inside of timbs laced all the way up, earrings with stone sets to match the fit, even drove a cunt car. I wanted him...but something was preventing me from approaching. It was weird, I ALWAYS approach when I see something I like but something just wasn't sitting well with me about him & I just couldn't put my finger on it.

One afternoon, as I'm headed to work again, I pass him outside on his phone readin somebody for FILTH about his car. He had made me nervous so I just kept walking looking straight ahead because I didn't need her poppin fly with me for being all up in her mug. At that point I decided that for whatever reason my gut was telling me not to pursue her, for the first time I was gonna listen. It was time for me to forget about miss cunt butch.

My 15 minute break finally came & I was hungry DOWN. I headed to the breakroom to raid the vending machine & as I sat down to tear into my kettle-cooked jalapeno potato chips, a body walked up from behind & sat right across the table from me...it was him staring dead up in my muthafuckin face...all I could do was smile. He returned it, beautiful teeth. "What's yo name?" he asked, still staring me dead in my eye. "Q," I smiled, "what's yours?" He didn't even blink, still gazing at me & then finally responded, "Bruce." We chatted for a few minutes & then he said, "gimme ya number;" not asking, but telling me to. I paused & thought "this is not right...I thought I wasn't gon go after him...& I should be the one asking him for his number..." He never did break his stare into my face & hell, even though I did say I wasn't gonna pursue him, it was him pursuing me...I gave him my number before returning to my desk to finish my shift.

He actually called the next day, surprisingly. We talked...and talked...and talked for what seemed like hours. He was from dallas, just moved outta his mama house, & a HEAVY weed smoker (a pot head.) But the most surprising detail was his age...19. I swear this dude looked every bit of 25, & spoke & acted it too. If I had that much sense at 19 maybe I woulda turned out to be "somebody." But honey anything that glitters, might just turn out to be aluminum foil. & I had 3 more years of wisdom on him so I had to hit him with that question, the one that had gotten me good so many times before: "You don't have a boyfriend?" I asked, intrigued that a kid this fly could ACTUALLY be single. He hesitantly answered, "uhhhh, ye-a." Mmmph. But truthfully, it was not a gut-punch. He didn't lie about the fact that they lived together; the fact that they were "in love in this sumbitch[2];" or the fact that he was having second thoughts about them sharing an apartment. But like most, he was not just gonna come out & tell me first & risk missing out; I would either have to just find out bout the shit or simply ASK. & honey doing what I do for this long, I interrogate like Law & Order.

So ya'll already know...I went over to they townhouse when he invited me (shit, ya'll know me; i'm trying to "see how the booty work...[3]"). & he looked really different in just a wife beater & basketball shorts. Not UNattractive, just a little, less (he used to be big but lost a lot of weight & now has no definition in his upper body) but I wasn't trippin. As we sat on the couch he began to roll a blunt (he smokes at least 2 before work each day) & wasted no time going IN about his lover & how sick he was of the living situation. THE RUNDOWN: He loved him, he just hated living with him. I comforted him. He kissed me & despite the weed smoke...he tasted sweet. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He wrapped HIS arms around MY waist. We continued kissing for about 5 minutes straight, slobbin DOWN but, he had yet to reach for my penis... & then BAM! that shit hit me like a nigga's daddy: What was off about him; what hadn't been sitting well with me but I couldn't put my finger on...until right then. I snatched away from him, looked him dead in the eye & asked, "are you a TOP?" He looked confused, then responded, "uhhhh, ye-a. What are you?" I just looked at him, disappointingly; nuff said. I knew my gut was telling me to leave this muthafucka alone for a reason. I was TOO through.

We both sat back on the couch, silent. He finally spoke, "I'm finsta start gettin ready for work." I thought to myself, "shi-it, you ain gotta tell me but once." I grabbed my keys & he stopped me, "no, don't leave yet," he smiled, leaned in & kissed me. I just looked like, nigga what? But I didn't argue, I just sat back down. It didn't take him long to throw on his clothes & jewelry. He looked so damn sexy when he re-emerged downstairs, I swear. He pulled me up off the couch, wrapping both arms around my waist. As he gazed into my eyes I could only think to myself, "what the fuck is this? Is dis nigga serious? I hope he don't think he gon sweet talk me into givin up the pussy? Shi-it, that ship sailed YEARS ago..." He kissed me, so gently but I swear I felt HEAT. This lil' 19 year old nigga had more game than the 30 & 40 year olds I be fuckin wit. He gon be somethin SERIOUS by the time he old enough to drink. He smiled & whispered, "let's go."

We walked to the parking lot, & before he hopped into his car to head to work, he leaned over & kissed me one more time. I'm standing there shocked & amazed, asking, "your neighbors ain't messy? They not gon say nothin to your boyfriend?" He smiled, climbed inside his car & replied "I don't care." As he crunk up, backed out, & drove off I could only think to myself, "damn..."

REFERENCES

1. "Should I Go?" (Brandy) - Afrodisiac; 2004

2. Martin Lawrence - You So Crazy; 1994

3. Lucky (Tupac Shakur) - Poetic Justice; 1993